The Fairest of the Elves
by Lady Anck-su-namun
Summary: What happens when a prank goes horribly wrong and Legolas begins to act like a character from Greek mythology? LegolasNarcissus
1. An Idea

What happens when a prank goes horribly wrong and Legolas begins to act like a character from Greek mythology? This story has been jumping around in my head since February but I just couldn't seem to nail it down properly. I present to you, dear reader, my latest attempt to bring to life this situation. My intentions are that, if I get enough of a response from this story, I shall continue with other LOTR-Greek myth collision stories. This story is completely AU and some modern language quirks may have slipped in too. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I own none of the characters, places, etc - they belong to the Tolkien estate. Plot line is a reinterpretation of the Greek myth of Narcissus and Echo transferred to Middle-Earth.

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That day started just like any other and there was no warning about the disaster that lay hidden, lurking in the shadows. It would be a day that no one in Rivendell would ever forget. 

"What do you want to do?" drawled Elrohir.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" inquired Elladan.

"Dunno."

Their conversation continued on in this manner for several minutes. Elrohir sprawled out on his bed, his dark head draping over the side, his hair streaming towards the floor. Elladan paced the length of his twin's room, hoping for inspiration to spring forth.

"We should pull a prank on someone," suggested Elrohir.

"That seems like a fantastic suggestion. Who?" questioned Elladan.

"Glorfindel?"

"I don't think that's a very good idea, he's still mad about the bucket of deer droppings."

"Still?" Elrohir exclaimed in disbelief. "That was like 5 years ago...Hmmm...Arwen?"

"Green hair dye."

"Right," grinned Elrohir, "that was a good one. Erestor?"

"He still hasn't recovered from that rash," responded Elladan.

"Oh. Ada?" Elrohir thought aloud. Both twins were silent but as soon as their eyes met, they burst out laughing.

"My back still hurts from mucking out all those stables!" Elladan declared.

"Who then?" sighed Elrohir as he rolled over onto his stomach to get a better look at his brother from the bed.

"Let me think," Elladan retorted as he continued to pace the length of the room. All of a sudden, his eye caught a sudden burst of movement outside the window. From his position, high in the trees, he could see an archer practicing at a distant range. Slowly a grin spread across his face as a devilish root planted itself within his mind.

"What?" Elrohir asked, seeing the look on his brother's face.

"I think it is high time we welcomed the Prince of Mirkwood to our home properly," grinned Elladan devilishly.

"It _is_ our duty" Elrohir smirked evilly.

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"Now what should we do to our fair-haired friend?" Elrohir asked as they stood in the healing supplies talan. 

"I don't know, what do you think?" Elladan wondered while grabbing a mixing bowl, never noticing the white powder at the bottom of the white porcelain chalice.

"Dye job?" Elrohir suggested hopefully. "He would make a ravishing sight with indigo hair!"

"What's with you and dye jobs?" marveled Elladan as Elrohir shrugged sheepishly. "No, I have a better idea - boils. Ugly, pulsing, puss-y boils!"

Laughing, Elrohir commented, " You are Sauron himself! Absolutely brilliant!"

Elladan smiled knowingly, giving his brother a mocking bow. Then the two troublemakers began to toss all the required herbs and potions into the bowl, oblivious to the fact that they were cooking up more than a few hideously painful sores for their friend.

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**Thank you for reading the first chapter and please review! **


	2. The Implementation

My thanks to Alatarial Elf and Yemi Hikari for their encouragement! Disclaimer is in chapter one. Enjoy!

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That evening the family all gathered together for their evening meal. It was a rare treat for Elrond to have all his children and advisors together for a meal, not to mention Legolas, an ellon he had always regarded fondly. He only wished his wife was here to see how wonderfully their children had grown up, well, at least how Arwen was grown up. The twins were another story altogether, although it had been several months since they pulled a prank on some unsuspecting elf. Perhaps his little boys were finally starting to grow up...unlikely, he thought, smiling to himself. He never could figure out how they managed to dye all his clothes neon pink, he thought as he started to frown.

"Ada, are you all right?" Arwen questioned, breaking him out of his reverie.

"Yes, of course I am, my dear" replied Elrond gently patting her hand. "When you're as old as I am, you tend to get lost in memories." Arwen smiled and returned to her conversation with Erestor concerning the restoration of the family's tapestries. At the other end of the table, Glorfindel, Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir were busy discussing training techniques and debating what style brought about the best swordsmen.

Suddenly a loud crash outside the dining room startled all the elves to their feet, and out the door to investigate. Well, almost all the elves - one stayed behind and dropped a finely grained powder into Legolas' cup, then joined the others in the hallway.

When their investigation revealed that the noise had been caused by a kitchen maid who had so _conveniently_ dropped a tray of silverware, they all returned to their seats and their roasted partridge. The dinner continued on normally, with the twins sending each other secretive smiles. At the end of dinner, they all rose to leave to their own activities.

"Legolas, do you want to go shoot some arrows?" Elrohir questioned.

"No, I think the trip here exhausted me more than I thought. I'm just going to go to bed - it seems to have just hit me all of a sudden," responded Legolas tiredly. It was then that his haggard expression became evident to all.

Saying good night to all, Legolas went to his room and the twins shared a grin - their friend was now on a one way trip to Boils-ville, Middle Earth.

With a stretch and a moan, Legolas opened his eyes. The early morning sun bathed his room in a soft orange glow. He smiled to himself as he padded over to his wardrobe. _I feel fantastic!_ he thought to himself. _Nothing like a night in a nice soft bed to rejuvenate an elf_. He pulled on his green shirt and leggings when suddenly he let out a shriek.

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**Please review! Thanks!**


	3. For the Love of a Spoon

My thanks to Psalm 136 and Yemi Hikari for their encouragement! Disclaimer is in chapter one. Enjoy! Thank you for being patient with me!!

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"Who is that gorgeous creature!?!" Legolas exclaimed. "Why that is the most beautiful elf - he's so beautiful!" Legolas twirled around, whipping his head around so that he wouldn't miss a second of his reflection. He smiled appreciatively as he ran his hands over his head, hair, shoulders, torso, then stopped with his hands bent on his waist. "Look at that golden hair - as beautiful as the sun's rays - nay, more beautiful! It's so silky soft!" He shuddered softly as with one hand, he petted his hair and with the other, stroked the reflection. 

"What are you doing?!?" exclaimed Arwen as she stepped into his room. "C'mon we're going to be late for breakfast." She threw at him his boots and in a daze, he put them on. "Hurry up," she urged him as she pulled him down the hall to the family dining room.

Awaiting them, were the twins who had deemed it worthy to roll out of bed early, just to see their friend. They had spent the whole night eagerly anticipating Legolas' arrival but they were ultimately surprised and disappointed when he entered, slightly flushed, but definitely boil-less. Dazedly, Legolas sat down next to Elladan and gave a half-hearted wave to the ellon across from him.

"Legolas, are you feeling okay? You're very quiet this morning," observed Elladan a few minutes later. Legolas nodded dejectedly, wondering when he'd get to see that beautiful creature from the mirror again.

"Leave him alone, Elladan. What would you like this morning Legolas?" asked Arwen kindly. When he made no move to answer her, Arwen shrugged and grabbed him a bowl of porridge from the sidebar. Gently, she laid the bowl in front of him and sat back down into her seat. Slowly Legolas moved to pick up his spoon...and silently he began to squeal as that beautiful ellon reappeared in his spoon.

"Look at that mouth! So beautiful and plump! Just ripe for kissing, I wager. Oh how I missed you so," mumbled Legolas. He continued along these lines, murmuring endearments to his spoon.

Slowly all the conversation in the room died as the siblings stopped their breakfast to watch Legolas who seemed to be worshipping his spoon. Puzzled, they looked at each other, unsure what had befallen their friend.

"Uhhh Legolas?" Elrohir questioned.

"Hmmmm?"

"What are you doing?" Legolas never answered Elrohir, as he continued to smile at his spoon.

"Now then, I think breakfast is done. Let's go see what you learned since the last time we sparred," Elladan said hurriedly.

Forcibly, he pulled Legolas up and out of his seat, forcibly took away the spoon and the twins and the bewildered prince left to go to the training fields.

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**Please review! Thanks!**


	4. Facing the Sword

Disclaimer is in chapter one. I have no excuses for why I wait so long to post...I'm very sorry...I hope that helps...Enjoy!

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At least the plan was to get Legolas to the training fields. To the twins, it seemed to be a simple idea. However, it was harder than it should have been as Legolas didn't seem to be paying any attention to either the twins or where he was going. However, finally they were successful, and they reached the armoury storage. 

"Lets try some different weapons this time. No weapons that are familiar, I think that that would make it more interesting," suggested Elrohir as he grabbed a spare sword off the shelf.

Elladan's eyes sparked as an eflings on Midsummer's Night, at all the treasures in front of him. Eagerly, he tested out various weapons before deciding on a set of jewel encrusted daggers. "How about you Legolas? What's your weapon of choice?"

Elrohir's questions were met with silence. Both twins turned from their examinations of their weapons to their friend behind them. Legolas stood gazing at the long swords with an air of absorption, completely within his own world. The twins looked at each other and shrugged, at least their friend was paying some attention to the task at hand.

Legolas stood gazing at the beautiful elf in the swords. "Hi," he said softly, shyly. "My name is Legolas, who are you?" The elf in the sword was torturously mute. With a sigh, Legolas gazed endearingly at the swords, with a dreamy smile.

"So are you going to pick one, or just stand there daydreaming all day?" Elladan in an attempt to interrupt Legolas' fantasy. Again, the wood-elf was silent. "Okay, I'll pick one." Elladan grabbed a sword at random and began to pull Legolas out into the sparring area.

Once there, Elladan took his fighting stance and waited for Legolas to make his move. Legolas however, was once again ogling his sword. With a frustrated sigh, Elladan smacked Legolas' sword with his own, in an attempt to gain some control over his friend. Legolas was so absorbed with his dreamy wanderings, that he never saw the blow coming, and he lost his grip on the sword and it fell into the mud, covering over its shiny surface.

"What was that for?" Legolas screamed at Elladan. "Why must you be so jealous all the time?" Visibly upset, Legolas ran off to the woods, leaving his friends stunned and bewildered behind him.

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**Please review!! Thanks!**


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